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Recap:

Mitchell Solarek and the Mary’s sit down and talk. Tina expresses that she is moving on with forgiveness. Erica tells Warryn that Mitchell has paid a visit. Warryn is NOT happy.  Tina and  Teddy took us to therapy. One answer is that they learned to   pray for each other. Erica  Campbell reflects  on business. Tina and Erica talk business of Mary Mary being on hiatus.  Erica faces the fact that she must be the hammer and change the payrates of her band.  That doesn’t sit well with her. Tina decides that she wants to do a book and an album together. Warryn reflects on the business angle of Tina’s life. Life is changing.  Warryn has to go to Sony and explain Tina wants to go solo. Meanwhile, Teddy and Tina face a possible life without Sony?

Lesson:

The only way you can accept new joy and happiness into your life is to make space for it. If your heart is filled full-up with pain and hurt, how can you be open to anything new?  Things don’t disappear on their own. You need to make the commitment to “let it go.” If you don’t make this conscious choice up-front, you could end up self-sabotaging any effort to move on from this past hurt.

Making the decision to let it go also means accepting you have a choice to let it go. To stop reliving the past pain, to stop going over the details of the story in your head every time you think of the other person.

Express the pain the hurt made you feel, whether it’s directly to the other person, or through just getting it out of your system (like venting to a friend, or writing in a journal, or writing a letter you never send to the other person). Get it all out of your system at once. Doing so will also help you understand what — specifically — your hurt is about.

We don’t live in a world of black and whites, even when sometimes it feels like we do. While you may not have had the same amount of responsibility for the hurt you experienced, there may have been a part of the hurt that you are also partially responsible for. What could you have done differently next time? Are you an active participant in your own life, or simply a hopeless victim? Will you let your pain become your identity? Or are you someone deeper and more complex than that??

Being the victim feels good — it’s like being on the winning team of you against the world. But guess what? The world largely doesn’t care, so you need to get over yourself. Yes, you’re special. Yes, your feelings matter. But don’t confuse with “your feelings matter” to “your feelings should override all else, and nothing else matters.” Your feelings are just one part of this large thing we call life, which is all interwoven and complex. And messy.

In every moment, you have that choice — to continue to feel bad about another person’s actions, or to start feeling good. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness, and not put such power into the hands of another person. Why would you let the person who hurt you — in the past — have such power, right here, right now?

Tina had an “new move on” feeling. Are you ready to move on?

Make sure to read:

Mary Mary Season 4 Episode 1: Mary Mary Vs Life  was originally published on elev8.hellobeautiful.com