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Can you rel8 to this?

News publications are buzzing about Mo’Nique’s interview with Barbara Walters where she admits that, “ We have an agreement that we’ll always be honest, and if sex happens with another person, that’s not a deal breaker for us, that’s not something where we’ll have to say, ‘Oh God, we’ve got to go to divorce court because you cheated on me.’ Because we don’t cheat.” The concept of an “open marriage,” has caused a stir with millions and I wanted to weigh in as well.  Is an open marriage really a marriage?

As a Christian, I have an understanding that marriage is defined as a union between one man and one woman under a covenant with God.  And if my goal is to please God, then I will keep the promise that He established–marry one man, have sex with one man and establish the best relationship with this ONE man for the rest of my life.  I think MOST people in Western culture embrace the sanctity of marriage the same, whether you are a believer or NOT–bottom line…no sharing allowed nor tolerated.  After all…it is actually the law, both land and moral.

Based on the buzz, Mo’Nique and her husband have chosen to pursue their union in a much more non-traditional manner–one that CAN be considered high risk in this day and age.  They are in an open marriage.  I guess I can say, “To each his/her own,” right?  Sure!  But I feel compelled to share my opinion.  I mean come on…the term “open” means that anything goes–women, men, name it.  And it begs the question, how often is he being tested for sickness and disease since she is clear that she isn’t the one having sex with other men.  I mean come on.  What is this really about?  Is this about low self esteem?  Is this about the desperate desire to be in a relationship, you would do whatever necessary to make sure that he stays, including giving him a pass?  Is this about Mo’Nique proving she’s a “real woman” because she can tolerate her husbands infidelity in the public’s eye?  What is this really about?  And don’t throw me the garbage about, ’she must be extremely secure if she is able to maintain that kind of relationship,’ cause I’m a woman too.  There is no way that I would be at peace knowing that the reason he’s out late could quite possibly have something to do with the fact that he’s in someone elses bed.  The imagery that occurs within the brilliant minds that the God of the universe created for each of us is far too sophisticated not to design sexually explicit moments of women that look a lot different than me with my man.  Those mental images that make their way along the canvas of my mind would completely overwhelm me when he is to return and crawl into bed beside me.  And what happens when he is confused because feelings have emerged?  What happens when those same emotions sneak up for the woman, women or men that he is involved?  What happens when THEY want more or her husband for that matter?  You see where this goes?  Nowhere!

See…here’s the problem with this whole thing, having sex with someone isn’t just the act of getting your rocks off and going home.  No…no…no!  When you become one with a person through intercourse, you literally become one with them.  There is a soul tie.  You literally bind your soul to theirs and you become one another.  Feelings emerge, likenesses form, spirits intertwine and you are now in a relationship.  There is a reason the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 “…let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

It wasn’t just a command made by God but He understands the ramifications of having multiple sex partners and what that CAN do to the mind, body and soul of both husband and wife.  I don’t care what you say, when he goes out, Mo’Nique is privately biting her nails.  She is wondering what is going on.  That is human nature.

Anywho…I thought this would be an interesting matter to discuss and think about.  At the end of the day, the only thing we can do for Mo’Nique is pray for she and her husband Sidney.  You can pray that they come into a relationship with Christ – if they don’t have one and THEN ask God to show them how to be married according to His perfect will.

“I’ve had to sneak and I’ve had to lie, and I don’t want to do that any more. But my husband is so awesome and so fine and so—oh, girl….No other man can compare.” Mo’Nique to Oprah.

Er uh!  Okay!!

Written by Ingrid Michelle for

To read “Life AFTER the Down Low,” click here AND follow her on Twitter

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