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Will and Jada, Jay-Z and Beyonce, and Khloé & Lamar all come to mind when you toss out the phrase “power couples” these days but when two very powerful individuals come together who really has the power?

Typically, the balance of power in any relationship is dominated by the person who brings home the biggest slab of bacon – the one who makes the most money rules. In most scenarios, the person who earns the most money has the power and their spouse/partner is often reluctant to voice and discouraged from any opinion that conflicts with the ‘powerful’ person. It is only in extremely rare cases that the person who has the money doesn’t feel the need to sling around their power where true balance can be achieved, that this type of dynamic works well for both parties. Pulling the purse strings in order to manipulate your partner is shallow. You should never demean, berate or disempower your partner by throwing around your power like King D*ck Willie – it’s a recipe for disaster.

Ideally, healthy and thriving relationships need to be more of an even partnership, and a disparity in power is often not conducive to relationships that are high-quality, vigorous, and stable. Recently, J-Lo and Marc Anthony split and it is rumored that J-Lo has stated that he was overly controlling. When two people are more evenly yoked in financial assets then the power scale balances out and if both parties are not in a clear mental space of equality then the struggle can get even tougher.

If your relationships are woven with integrity and each person is valued for whatever they bring to the relationship, then falling into the ‘power trap’ won’t ever become an issue.  It is when one involved party is viewed as the lesser, based on financial attributes, that the imbalance presents itself and power struggles arise. If, as a couple you can mutually agree that there will be differences in contributions but that the total sum of you together is what makes the relationship tick, then you may be able to escape the pitfalls of POWER. It is simply not healthy for one person in the relationship to feel like they ‘owe’ or are ‘owed’ for financial contributions made by the other for the good of the relationship.

Creating relationships where both of your opinions matter and everyone is valued is paramount to creating lasting relationships.  There will always be varying power dynamics but for the most part, a healthy balance can be created with a little respect, appreciation and compromise. Having power over your partner is never a good idea but having the power to choose how you want to treat your partner is a beautiful thing.

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