Can you rel8 to this?
So…after posting my blog on “Was Tonex On The DL?!” last week, the responses that came to my facebook page and the comments here on elev8.com were amazing. But I realized something in the course of writing and reading, some people really don’t understand the impact of the down low and others just kinda lump the gay lifestyle in with being on the DL, causing some to be offended because they feel as if you’re attacking the gay community when addressing those cowardice men who hoodwink their female counterparts. Others become so completely mortified that they get twisted with words and lose the entire scope of their intended discussion.
Assuming you are unaware, let me break down the definition of a down low brother for a second from MY perspective and then we can deal with the question of “Can God REALLY Heal The Heart Of A Man On The Down Low?” Before I go there though, I want to share this. I went to a funeral today and ran into a guy who is a minister of the gospel. We reacquainted and exchanged phone numbers. He told me that he started reading my book, “Life AFTER the Down Low,” and that he had been praying for me. He said, “I know what you’re going through…I assume you know my story.” I didn’t. The short of the long is, he was living a gay lifestyle for 23 years and has been delivered. He knew he wanted to be married BUT also knew it was imperative that he get counseled (by a professional) before he entered into that type of monogamous relationship with a woman. He said, “It wasn’t enough for me to just tear down the structure, I had to dig up the foundation so there was no residue.” I nodded and commended him on his journey. I walked away from him thinking…now THAT is what I’m talking about. A man who understands the value of another person (a woman) enough to completely detonate the bomb of his previous life choices so that they could in no way cause an explosion in his intended relationship with his now wife. With that said…my perspective…
My wikipedia definition of a down low man:
A man who is on the down low is playing games – plain and simple. They are playing Russian Roulette with the lives of those whom they are physically acquainted. They are intentionally deceiving their female counterparts into relations with them (most times sexual in nature) while maintaining intimate connections with men (whether oral or anal). Their subscription isn’t “gay,” they are bi-sexual unbeknown to the the general public. They are insecure control freaks knowing that if they were discovered, the relationship that they are trying to hold on to will be no longer. So they withhold valuable information for as long as it can be held in an effort to maintain dominion in their union. They are thieves and liars. They steal choices. They know exactly what they’re doing. They plan it. It is well thought out and hidden. It is neatly constructed. They risk their health and that of their female partners, wives, girlfriends, etc. They establish relationships smothered with manipulation and narcissism. Everything becomes about them – what THEY want and how THEY want it. When THEY are ready to come clean THEY will but until then the games must go on. They become part of communities of men that are engaging in the same behavior and the arrogance becomes insurmountable. They make you feel inferior as the recipient because after all, they love you.
So…I ask, can God heal that? Can God take that deceptive heart…that evil that is being perpetrated against a woman – sometimes intentionally issuing death sentences with the AIDS or HIV virus…can God take those ill intentions and turn it around for His glory? Sure He can…if the spirit is willing. The crazy thing is, we enter into this relationship with Christ willfully. We come because we want to come. YES! The invitation has been extended to our hearts – it’s been extended to everyone already and we DECIDE to accept it or not. And guess what, there are some who don’t. And there will be plenty who will never. So…the same relates to the healing and deliverance from this heinous behavior called the down low. If you really want NOT to be a double-crosser, it ain’t nothing but a decision. Will it be easy? NO! Heck no! Especially when you have been trained to deceive. When your heart has been inaugurated into the deep of darkness, you have to want out like a desperate prisoner. And the only way to get out and have the spirits that once resided and controlled you gone, is to have a right relationship with Christ. Since everything is predicated upon the premise of God’s perfect will, then this doesn’t change. You have to want to be delivered and you have to want to be WHO God intended that you be – period. In order for your heart to heal from the falsehood of the down low, you have to willfully surrender to God. You have to call your stuff what it is – BY NAME and not skirt around calling it, “issues.” And if you don’t, there can be no healing. Point blank – end of story…