Learning to Love My Grown Children | Love Talk
I literally just finished texting my 21-year-old daughter, Krista, before this Love Talk. It still feels strange saying that out loud—my baby is grown! Loving your adult children is a different kind of love. It’s new territory for me. I’ve been “mommy” to little ones for so long, but now that my kids are becoming adults, I’m learning that my role has to change.
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My love for them hasn’t changed, but how I express it—and how I parent—absolutely has. These days, I’m more of a coach. I ask questions instead of giving lectures. I let her speak so I can truly hear her voice. I try to give her the trust she needs to make her own choices, even when those choices don’t line up with what I would’ve done. And I’m learning not to guilt her when she does something I don’t agree with.
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It’s not easy. There are moments when I want to step in and say, “No, do it this way.” But I don’t want to be the kind of parent who makes my children dread coming home. I want them to feel safe being themselves around me. At the same time, I don’t want to back off so much that they feel like I’ve abandoned them. It’s a delicate balance.
The way I look at it, God is my model. He allows me to make my own decisions, even when I mess up, but He’s always there to guide me and love me. God has never hit me over the head for my mistakes—life has. My consequences taught me lessons, but His love never wavered. That’s the kind of parent I want to be.
Sometimes as parents, we react out of fear or frustration. We say harsh things when our kids’ decisions make us look bad or when we think their mistakes reflect on us. But our children aren’t just ours—they belong to God first. We’re just entrusted to love and guide them with the same grace He gives us.
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And sometimes, that means apologizing. Yes, parents owe their kids apologies too. Maybe you yelled too much, said something you shouldn’t have, or were too controlling. Or maybe you coddled them so much they can’t make decisions on their own. Either way, parenting requires humility—and balance.
I’ve only got one grown child so far, and it’s already a journey. I can’t imagine what my mom went through raising eight girls who all have opinions! We’re helping her move right now, and I’ve had to remind some of my sisters, “Talk nicely to Mama. She’s grown too!” Sometimes we forget that parents are still people.
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At the end of the day, love has to lead. When your kids disappoint you, what do you do? When they make you angry, do you shut them out or love them through it? Do you respond with patience or punishment? No matter what they’ve done, they’re still your kids.
All families are different. All parents are different. But if you’re trying to be like Jesus, you’ve got a bigger responsibility than most. Love them. Forgive them. Show grace. Because that’s exactly what God does for us.
That’s my Love Talk of the Day. I love you—and I mean it.
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Learning to Love My Grown Children | Love Talk was originally published on getuperica.com
